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Grief

by Mad Ruby

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1.
Over the Hills Where they call her name She’s going back now It’s getting late Everything’s burned into my eyes Dark of the sun never so bright
2.
Ready or Not 04:30
Necrotizing of the flesh Not everything is for the best Sometimes it pays to keep that fact in mind Building to the sacrifice A calm wave that comes at a price You never really know what lurks inside Here it goes Feed the crow Only bones Rot is on a roll Then you’re on your own Blink and bury There it goes Oh so cold Throw no stones Charon takes his toll Then she’s going home Mind, body, and soul Ready or not This is happening Better give it some thought You’re gonna feel everything Ready or not This is happening Now you’re stuck to the spot You’re gonna see everything Ready or not This is happening Doesn’t care what you want It’s gonna take everything
3.
Ticks 04:36
Gotta get over it Sticks and stones Will break some bones Be careful while juggling All these thoughts The torture of wondering When she might go Gotta get under it Blanket of suffering Tip them toes Be silent when struggling With your thoughts The body is crumbling Gone with the flow My oh my There goes her shine It’s floating on the breeze Watch it cry As it shakes through the trees Boy oh boy Now what’s the time? Been leaving like a dream Watch it dance As it slips through the seams It’s coming for all of us Just you wait, though It’s coming for all of us Nowhere to hide
4.
To live, To wait To realize Too late To laugh, To cry To follow, To die To scream, To shout Too callous, Too proud Too good, Too pure Too deadly To cure
5.
Monster 03:18
I know a place where monsters roam It’s in my heart and in my soul But I know a place where love does grow It’s in her heart and in her soul But it’s gone
6.
Betting on a dead horse Going down the wrong course Take a breath and count to ten Looks can be deceiving Her body is leaving Never will we meet again Woah When the sun goes down All the spirits gather around To embalm the heart With the process once it starts And when there’s nothing left There’s a lesson in the test That the rest of us Will inevitably rust (Oh when nobody sees I’m on your side You gotta believe I’m a part of you Oh the birds and the trees, even the sky You gotta believe I’m a part of it And when you want to scream You have the right You gotta believe it’s a part of it Oh when nobody sees, I’m by your side I didn’t want to leave, It was just my time) I’m going crazy Can’t get you out of my mind You’re so amazing Tell it to you one more time Love can’t be lazy So I’ll be with you through the night I was your baby And now I have to watch you die
7.
Anything 03:41
I/you/we can live through this I/you/we can live through this I/you/we can live through live through anything I can live through this I can find some bliss I can live through live through anything Don’t wanna live through this Don’t wanna live through this Don’t wanna live through live through Anything Under the feelings I don’t want to share There’s a hole in the world that could swallow all prayers And I’ll take it for granted the myth is a lie But what nobody tells you is how the whole cries when I can live through this I can find some bliss I can live through live through anything I can live through this I can find some bliss I can live through live through anything But Don’t wanna live through this Don’t wanna find some bliss Don’t wanna live through live through anything Don’t wanna live through this Don’t wanna feel the kiss Don’t wanna live through live through anything
8.
I’m not that brave though I know that you’re going away I’m not okay though I won’t let go of you Hey now Kick you while you’re still down Silence that is so loud Permeates the room It’s almost over Hairshirt Hits you where it hurts Oh how can this be worse? Just stick around and see It’s almost over Hit the bottom with nowhere to go We got five good years Guess the monster was slowed down Shot the hours like pigeons of clay And now all the little shards Are headed our way Hit the bottom with nothing but shame We got five good years Now the chaos will reign Hit the hours like nails on the head Until everything you love Is a corpse in a bed
9.
And Nothing 05:25
I had a dream in the dark of the night That we both believed in the signs of life Then you opened your eyes and I held you tight And what had left was back to right But in the end it was only a dream A silly superstition that it seems that I need When everything is nothing then the nothing can’t leave And who could ask for more? La la la, la la la, la la la, ooooo I gave a shout in the light of the day Like I swallowed the earth, but only dirt remained Did it bury my heart or put it on display? Does it matter what I say? Cause all the ends are determined and mean Just different situations where you lose what you need When everything is nothing then the nothing can’t leave And who could ask for more? La la la, la la la, la la la, ooooo
10.
To You 05:56
There is nothing fair about the world or its crimes And safety always dissipates on the turn of a dime But can’t escape, can’t turn away Just go to sleep, it’s getting late Staying on the lookout for the lie But it didn't happen to you... Bet it’s gonna happen to you Bet it’s gonna happen too soon Better it’s the knife that you choose Guess it’s just about what you do Bet it's gonna happen Nothing ever separates the self like time And death is always waiting in the wings With soft eyes bright Can’t be tamed, can’t obfuscate Don’t engage, avert your gaze Everything is hinging on the lie I could never separate the reason from the rhyme And it is always hard for me To say goodbye But just you wait Won’t hesitate Favor was the fire that was lit And it won’t go to waste Always gonna keep you in my mind And maybe we’ll find there’s another side Silent on this ride Asleep for miles Not ready to give you back To the wild Every night I’m searching For lost time But I’m happy I got to be Your child/son

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released January 5, 2023

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Mad Ruby Tucson, Arizona

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